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and she'll be the queen of hearts

Alice lost her way following a rabbit with a clock. She changed when she took a bottle labeled “Drink me” and a cake labeled “eat me”. And she almost drowned in a sea of tears. So how do you fall deep into a rabbit hole and come out the other end unchanged? You can’t.

She fell deep in love for a boy that never loved her back. He broke her heart, tore it out of her chest till there was no breath inside of her. And into a world of nonsense she fell in. Half asleep, unable to wake up.

He hurt her so bad; she didn’t know where to begin to pick up the pieces of her life. During the day it was very easy to be brave. But when night fell and the truth crept up in between dreams there was no escaping it.

You see even if we lie to ourselves during the day. The body is compelled to speak the truth at night. Maybe it’s because we talk so much during the day we can’t hear what the heart is saying. And if you don’t pay attention, then it talks to you through a dream, or a memory. And a dream is a poem the body writes. Therefore her nights were long, and her dreams were endless.

Alice in a world turned upside down. A woman alone, left to fend for herself, that’s what she was. So she dreamt and dream. Put her hands to her face. She had a lot of tears to spend.

It took everything she had to not let herself fall apart. She sighed, deeply but she understood then and there that it was time to reconcile with the idea that he was never meant for her. So she looked up at the starry night. Her eyes were filled with tears. The wind blew by, whispering things she didn’t need to know, as a tear fell down, as she let go.

The trouble with reaching her closure was that she still remained broken. Her faith in love, her hope of the future, her confidence in another was shattered and all her feelings remained in a world of chaos. She felt he had taken her ability to love. Because of a disastrous unraveling her heart grew cold. And the biggest fear in being untouchable wasn’t the fear of love itself but of never being able to be moved again.

 For a long time she felt like a wish lost within the stars. Not certain of where she was going or how she’d ever get there. But she’d do anything to reach the surface, the real world, to burst through the magic mirror, away from Wonderland where logic and reason do not exist.

Battled scarred she works very hard to get back to who she used to be. With time the days became weeks, and the weeks months and the heart that once was lost began to beat again. She has yet to figure out what the future holds but for now she paints the roses red. And can’t help but simply wonder if Life itself is just a dream…

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