Life As I Know It

It’s not every day you lose your heart. But it’s also not every day that you find yourself again. The following story is that of a beautiful soul who day by day gets stronger. Who with every turn of a page in her story finds peace and forgiveness. Whose learn that the love that matters most is the one that happens within herself. It’s a warm and sunny day. A rather strange phenomenon. An almost spring day right in the middle of winter. But this is Texas and the weather here changes every 10 minutes. I find myself with a dear friend talking away the morning. Sitting out on the patio of my favorite coffee shop, the bustling of the city is all around us. Doors opening and closing, people’s chatter, and cars on a nearby street are passing by. I smile and pick up a dandelion next to my feet. And look up to realize she’s all ready in tears. And her story begins to pour out of her. “Have you ever been in a room full of people, and still feel terribly lonely? I feel like that often, ...

“The hardest part about walking away from someone is no matter how slow you go… that someone will never run after you” – she sighed.    She fell in love for the very first time with a man who loved her dearly. But life, time, and struggles took a toll on what seemed to be a story fit for a fairy tale ending. They’re flame blew out, and their love collapsed. “Why Miriam!? How!? What did I do wrong!? Is this how it ends!? I feel like that Movie with Jennifer Aniston “The Break-up.” Where in the ending you are fooled into believing that their love will be enough to bring them together but instead the credits go up. You would think things would have happened differently!!!” She said in desperation as a tear runs down her face.   You would think things would happen differently! That an ending like that deserves to be rewritten. There are some endings that are difficult to understand and even cope with. But that’s the thing about life. Some things just are. And not a power...

We sat in my living room catching up as he worked on my computer. We’d been friends for so long I could tell when something was bothering him. Minutes later we were consumed in conversation about his past love. He wanted to move on. He wanted to forget her. He even wished he’d never met her. “I wish I could just delete her the way you do browsing history on the computer.” He said quite defeated. I smiled. “If only it was that simple” He fell in love with a girl that never really loved him back. He spent years trying to win her heart and he lost himself in her. She built him up only to let him fall till all he had left were broken promises and a broken heart. It took him a while to reconcile with the idea that she was never meant for him. He pointed at the delete button and clicked “Just like that” This got me thinking… Could it all ever really be gone? Or are there microscopic traces left behind? Encrypted messages left reeling within us. Maybe not always visible, but always ...

From one of my favorite movies. Splendor in the Grass. "That though the radiance which was once so bright be now forever taken from my sight. Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, glory in the flower. We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind." ---William Wordsworth

Deep in the city of mines lived a small, frail woman. She was a widow and had a son to look after. So nevertheless expenses were limited to the very bare-necessities. Every coin left in her purse always went to grant the child any bit of happiness, any bit of joy. And though as poor as could be, this woman was a strong woman, a confidant woman, a very hard working older woman. I loved everything about her. She was my favorite service partner. Partially because she always carried a bag of cookies with her. But mostly because you couldn't help but fall in love with her. Even her shoes. I was always amazed that for such a very tight budget she always managed to wear a pair of shoes to match her outfit. I was. Well, till she told me. See she didn't own hundreds of pairs of shoes. She didn't even own 10, or 5, or 2 pairs. She owned only but one pair. Every morning when she dressed she made sure to be tidy and clean, and that everything she wore matched perfectly... Even her shoe...

The other day, as I rummaged around through old folded clothes in our walk in closet I ran across an old toy. This monkey I got at the zoo when I was like 6. It’s wearing a blue dress I took from a doll and it’s absolutely hideous. But I hold it tight, and I remember just how much I loved it. I used to drag that thing around for hours. Oh and God forbid I couldn’t find it when bed time came around. It brought me so much warmth to see it. When I first saw it I was ecstatic. I held it close and reminisced. I even played with it for a couple of hours. This of course annoyed everyone at home because the only thing this monkey can do is squeak. At one point my mom looks at me and says. “Hay cosas que merecen quedarse en el pasado” Meaning: “this was cute when you were a child but if you don’t stop it, I’m gonna make sure it goes away forever”. I laughed at her. But she was right. At the end of the day, it took to a corner where it layed untouched and un-played with. After all I’m 23 now an...

Alice lost her way following a rabbit with a clock. She changed when she took a bottle labeled “Drink me” and a cake labeled “eat me”. And she almost drowned in a sea of tears. So how do you fall deep into a rabbit hole and come out the other end unchanged? You can’t. She fell deep in love for a boy that never loved her back. He broke her heart, tore it out of her chest till there was no breath inside of her. And into a world of nonsense she fell in. Half asleep, unable to wake up. He hurt her so bad; she didn’t know where to begin to pick up the pieces of her life. During the day it was very easy to be brave. But when night fell and the truth crept up in between dreams there was no escaping it. You see even if we lie to ourselves during the day. The body is compelled to speak the truth at night. Maybe it’s because we talk so much during the day we can’t hear what the heart is saying. And if you don’t pay attention, then it talks to you through a dream, or a memory. And a dre...