Life As I Know It

He walked in and the aroma of coffee hugged his scent. The bustle of the busy coffee shop almost bothered him. But he hadn't slept all night and needed a dose of caffeine to help him stay awake. It was a long weekend after all. And that’s when he noticed her, off the corner of his eye. She was perusing the pastry counter in deep thought unsure of what she wanted. She turned slightly realizing she was holding the line and offered the next customer her place in line. “You go first” She said. She hadn't noticed him. She hadn't even looked at his face. Just the figure of the man standing next to her. Until he said his drink order. And then her body perked up, she knew that voice. Every inch of her body recognized his being. She wouldn't even have to look twice to know it was him. It was the first time that they saw each other in person. 1 year and 6 month since the last time he kissed her. And too many sleepless nights,...

I sat at home flipping through a magazine when I received a text form a friend. I look at my phone to find it’s a picture of her and Superman announcing that they were now in a relationship. I laughed out loud. She’s so silly. “If it were only that easy” I replied “It should be” “Right” “Well maybe you can’t crop your way into someone’s heart. But can you crop someone out of your own?” And I knew where she was headed. Recently she’d suffered an ill fated love affair. The type that leaves you reeling because you gave so much more than you could afford to give. They’d had a whirlwind romance. The type that usually ends with a white dress and a reception where you vow eternal love for one another. But short from taking that step of asking her to marry him, he developed many doubts. Instead of working through those doubts, he decided he simply didn’t want to be in a relationship with her. She was left in shock. From night to day, he changed his mind, and she, well she had no...

It was the third day of spring. I was sitting in the passenger’s seat talking away the drive. I’d been so long since her and I had been on a night out alone. But there we were, headed to a day of errands, a late dinner and a movie. We were discussing an upcoming trip to NYC and when it would be best to take it before or after the wedding. And the subject turned to Wedding. I took over the conversation asking her a million questions. I always valued her opinion most of all. She knew me better than most of all. And as the unofficial Mexican Martha Stewart, her opinions truly mattered. So I spilled over on wedding colors, and decoration likings. Flower arrangements and mental lists of prices. I rambled on about seating arrangements and list of guests. Never noticing that the more I spoke the more she responded less and less. Her mood heavy, a tear was shed. So crazed into my future I’d forgotten my present. It was in that moment she looked at me and said: “I’ll miss you.” Ther...

“Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories” (An Affair to Remember)   It was the first day of winter today. The first day in November a chill filled the air. So cold you bypass the shadows and head straight for the sunlight paths. But it was there among the cold I walked alone. I was running errands and getting swept away by the Monday Blues. I made it to my car finally and got in as quickly as possible. I burred loudly as an alert flashed the screen on my phone. I looked down and realized my calendar was alerting me of birthdays and such. I scrolled down and I saw his name. I found it strange that I still held this information after so many years. Even more surprised when I realized it was in some way comforting. And in that car alone, on the first day of winter, with a chill in the air… I felt warmth. I was only 15 when I met him. I was Cinderella at the ball when I met him, and he was the prince who found my lost slipper. I remember it well. I was...

‘No two good things happen in one day’. I read that once, or someone told me those words. The truth is I can’t remember it. But my mother told them to me this afternoon and they struck me like déjà vu. I’d been here before. This place was familiar. My path always led me here, no matter how many times the territory seemed hopeful and different, it was always this ending. I’ve never been one to believe in luck. To be frank I don’t think it exists. But if it did I’d take the cake on horrible hardship luck. From wretched events that leave you with battle scars, to the silliest of happenings that leave you exasperated. Like a flat tire, or leaving your key inside the car, or rain without an umbrella. That was my life. Sure, it gave for some good stories, and I’ve laughed at myself more than anyone should be allowed. And I’m a mock of jokes to my friends because of my clumsy ways. But everything in small doses can be taken. Like that horrible pink, grapey syrup your mom gave you when ...

“It didn’t make you noble to step away from something that wasn’t working; even if you thought you were the reason for the malfunction. Especially then. It just made you a quitter. Because if you were the problem, chances were you could also be the solution. The only way to find out was to take another shot.” – Sarah Dessen “Maybe letting someone go is the best chance you have for them to come back?” He asked me. I know what he wanted me to say. To give him a sure answer that she would come back. That it was that simple. I’d always been that person for him, the one who reassured him against all odds. But in that moment every cynical bone in my body wanted to speak out and say: “Love is a load of crap, Run.” It’s funny how altering a personality can be after a series of failed relationships. But instead I looked at him intently; I bit my lip, as I do in deep thought. He’d recently come to the realization that the person he loved most in this world was the same person h...

The worst thing about NOT being in a relationship is having to give advice about love. I love my friends and if there's something I can do to help. I'm the first one there. But at times having to give advice is a bit draining. Especially when you have to give advice about something you never followed. It reminds you that at some point that's not something you believed in. And that if you had maybe there would have been a different outcome. But there I was on a roller coaster, of all places, when my friend turns and looks at me and says "What do i do? What would you do?" "Scream" I said. She says "Why?" "Because we are about to drop" She looks down and realizes it. And we scream. When we get off, she realizes I haven't given her any advice so she asks again. I look at her and say "Love is a bit of a roller coaster. Sometimes you're up and laughing with giddiness. At times you are down. Screaming inside, holding your stoma...