We sat in my living room catching up as he worked on my computer. We’d been friends for so long I could tell when something was bothering him. Minutes later we were consumed in conversation about his past love. He wanted to move on. He wanted to forget her. He even wished he’d never met her.
“I wish I could just delete her the way you do browsing history on the computer.” He said quite defeated.
I smiled. “If only it was that simple”
He fell in love with a girl that never really loved him back. He spent years trying to win her heart and he lost himself in her. She built him up only to let him fall till all he had left were broken promises and a broken heart. It took him a while to reconcile with the idea that she was never meant for him.
He pointed at the delete button and clicked “Just like that”
This got me thinking… Could it all ever really be gone? Or are there microscopic traces left behind? Encrypted messages left reeling within us. Maybe not always visible, but always present?
“You might have the right idea. Maybe we’d carry fewer traces of past failures if we could only just cleanse ourselves from all the bad. But from everything? Because after all… along with the trials come the lessons you learned. And could you have ever really grasped them had you not suffered from it?”
“I guess not. But you can’t imagine how much I’ve hurt. How much I’ve been wounded because of all this. For a long time I thought it was my fault. That I made it hard for her to love me. That I had to keep having faith in her, that she would come around. Till it finally clicked that I couldn’t possibly continue to love a person who had done nothing but mistreat me.”
I sighed. “You can’t hold on forever…”
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds. It dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing. And when it does we are left with a full folder of temporary files. Full of history, cookies, and saved passwords. Leaving us with very little room to work in.
But healing is a process, just like unloading all the baggage you’ve been carrying is also a process. When love is lost, it’s not the letting go that will hurt the most, it’s the holding on to her/him that will be killing you. My advice? Make sure your tears are washing something away. What hurt you the most shouldn’t be kept in your hard drive, or your heart for that matter.
It is said that the more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present. So eventually you’ll learn to let go, and you’ll move on and let happiness find its way to you. And if all else fails reboot, restart… press Ctrl/Alt/Delete…
“I wish I could just delete her the way you do browsing history on the computer.” He said quite defeated.
I smiled. “If only it was that simple”
He fell in love with a girl that never really loved him back. He spent years trying to win her heart and he lost himself in her. She built him up only to let him fall till all he had left were broken promises and a broken heart. It took him a while to reconcile with the idea that she was never meant for him.
He pointed at the delete button and clicked “Just like that”
This got me thinking… Could it all ever really be gone? Or are there microscopic traces left behind? Encrypted messages left reeling within us. Maybe not always visible, but always present?
“You might have the right idea. Maybe we’d carry fewer traces of past failures if we could only just cleanse ourselves from all the bad. But from everything? Because after all… along with the trials come the lessons you learned. And could you have ever really grasped them had you not suffered from it?”
“I guess not. But you can’t imagine how much I’ve hurt. How much I’ve been wounded because of all this. For a long time I thought it was my fault. That I made it hard for her to love me. That I had to keep having faith in her, that she would come around. Till it finally clicked that I couldn’t possibly continue to love a person who had done nothing but mistreat me.”
I sighed. “You can’t hold on forever…”
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds. It dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing. And when it does we are left with a full folder of temporary files. Full of history, cookies, and saved passwords. Leaving us with very little room to work in.
But healing is a process, just like unloading all the baggage you’ve been carrying is also a process. When love is lost, it’s not the letting go that will hurt the most, it’s the holding on to her/him that will be killing you. My advice? Make sure your tears are washing something away. What hurt you the most shouldn’t be kept in your hard drive, or your heart for that matter.
It is said that the more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present. So eventually you’ll learn to let go, and you’ll move on and let happiness find its way to you. And if all else fails reboot, restart… press Ctrl/Alt/Delete…
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