Skip to main content

From a table away


She sat a table away at a distance that allowed her to hear it all. In the dim light he never even noticed she was there. After all it wasn’t her he was concentrating on but instead on the person in front of him. He sat immersed in conversation with her. She watched as he took her hand in his. Looked deep into
her eyes and was lost to her.

And at an arms length away she heard him say that he was still in love with her. And that’s when it happened. She could feel her heart breaking to pieces. She could feel the blood rushing out of her body. Her chest tightening up and her breath coming out slowly. She wanted to learn the truth and from a table away the harsh reality splashed her in the face. There he was, the man she loved most, telling someone else something she never dared imagine.
They say that truth hurts. That hearing it is a release of honesty but a sharp incision in the heart. The truth can free you of the anxiety but it can bind you to feeling the consequences of its reality. Anchoring you. The thing in telling the truth is that though it’s an honest act, a moral act, that doesn’t mean that what you have to say is what others would like to hear.

She was at that time heartbroken. It was as if her heart began to beat a different rhythm entirely. One she could never get used to, so that she felt nervous all the time and completely forgot what calmness and tranquility felt like.

She made the mistake of making Him her everything. Many years and a heart truly invested she lost herself in him. She had let down her guard, torn down the walls, and he’d come straight at her with a knife to her heart.

She could feel the ground beneath her start to shake. She closed her eyes andmemories of them rushed in. But every I love you and every kiss was now in flames. And in the ashes of it all she sat with blood shot eyes. The tears, an overflow of the heart that was barely beating. Covered in distress and disappointment she looked tattered and worn out.
She kept looking at him. Like if any minute now the portrait of him and her would shatter. But it didn’t. Instead he leaned in and kept speaking to her softly. And that was a reality that was too harsh to bear. It didn’t matter the time that transpired or the words spoken. The damage had been. He broke her spirit, broke her soul, and broke everything in her. All the lies, all the omissions where finally understood. Deception had shown its face.
It took seconds to lose the love she loved the most. But from a table away, under a dim light room, He broke her faith, broke their love, broke her heart. She gathered her things, took a deep breath and began the task of walking away as the pain inside her grew in weight and anchor. For you see the pain of having a broken heart is that it is not as much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live in peace.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Love never returns void

Many years ago I wrote a piece on a dear friend of mine. At the time her story unraveled with a heartbreaking ending. But if anything remains true from that story is that she is and will continue to be the eternal optimistic… who always, always believes in love. She paced back and forth, looking at the door and back at her watch every few minutes. She was nervous and her hands were sweating. Finally to catch a breath she sits down and lets out a deep sigh. And she closes her eyes. It’s surreal to her how years ago this was the exact same spot she last saw him. Where he promised he loved her and that love was everlasting. The last place before their story crashed and unraveled. She never thought shed be back here again after the way it ended. Years had passed and life and time had taken their toll on their story. One she thought was signed and sealed, shelved on a book case and had become dusty with time. She got up at the sound of the announcer saying the flight had arrived. She l...

How to flip tortillas without burning your hand

It was a bright and early morning when I woke up to the sound of my alarm and my sister opening the curtains wide letting in a little too much sunlight. I wanted desperately to turn the other way and sleep in a few more minutes but even on vacation she was a stickler for time. So I rolled out of bed reluctantly, I got dressed, and we headed for the days adventures; snorkeling first on our list. We got to the dock and after boarding instructions we boarded the vessel that would take us to a near island with coral reefs. Finally at our destination the boat anchored and we were handed our gear. So flippers and all people one by one jumped into the vast ocean uninhibited. I did too. I’d forgotten how rough the Pacific was. A greater part of World War II had been fought here. Somehow the waters still reeked of vengeance. Except I forgot I could not swim, and at that moment even how to float. So I was instantly submerged by the undertow and the lapping of the waves. I fought to catc...

The magnitude of history

It’s my usual Sunday night, me rummaging through notes and notebooks, editing and writing. I stood up and went into my writing closet. Realizing that the binder I wanted was at the very top, I stood on a stool and yanked at the bottom of the stack. Swiftly it all came toppling over me, hitting me in the head in the process. Papers and folders scattered everywhere. I grunted. I began picking them up one by one when I ran across a manila folder gently titled “WEDDING” in block letters, with a red heart sticker following the word. I’d forgotten I was planning a wedding. I slid slowly to the floor till I was sitting and I began to go through its contents. There were lists of first dance songs and father/daughter songs; clippings of flower arrangements, swatches of fabrics, notebook entries of budgets, and location listings. There it all was. Very detailed and organized. All I ever dreamed of, all I thought I ever wanted. And on the last page, on the back cover of the folder, a pasted...