Life As I Know It

Outside the sun is shining, it’s a warm cozy afternoon. The wind is blowing the most perfect sounds of nature. The street is filled with people united by their location divided by their attention. I’m sitting in my front porch, with my legs stretched long in front of me, leaning back, resting on my palms. I’m looking at my niece play with our dog coco. Coco seems tired and worn out and it only takes for my niece to pull his hair for him to get mad enough to try and bite her hand. And there at 6 o’clock in the afternoon, on a street filled with kids playing and mothers immersed in conversation… My niece starts wailing. She runs into my arms and won’t stop crying. Even though the dog but snapped at her, in that moment, the shock, startled this little girl enough for her to cry as if her life depended on it. Everyone rushes to her and within minutes of my dad’s silly jokes and faces she starts laughing again. And just like that it’s over. She’s moved on to the next moment. If ever...

Days before my grandmother passed away I was hospitalized for stress and the lack of knowledge on how to deal with it properly. The following is bits and pieces of the last serious conversation I had with my grandmother. I held this advice the most dearest to my heart not knowing it would be the last… She sighs de eply and takes hold of my hand. “Hay mi niña . Don’t you know you can’t live till you let go. The past will have a hold of you, tearing at you; it will grab you by the throat if you just let it reel deep within you. No Corazon. No. Don’t let them have power over you or they always will. You gotta forgive baby. You gotta let go, and you gotta move on.” "But how do I do it grandma. I don’t know how to move forward. I feel stuck unable to move or to go on.” “Hay mi niña es que no aprendes . You hold on to things forever child. You love too much. You don’t know when to stop loving. You did it when you were 5 with a wounded bird that fell out of the tree. While eve...

“I wish I was a balloon.” - My friend says interrupting my thoughts. “What? Why” I replied startled. “Why not?” another friend chimes in. “I’d never come down, just drift off, and let the wind take me where it wants to take me” she says as she sighs deeply. I laugh realizing she’s right. Traveling in a balloon you can decide only when to start, and usually when to stop. The rest is entirely up to nature. It was a late summer day, the wind was blowing, and we were surrounded by the noise of music, rides, and conversation. We found ourselves with our legs stretched out, sitting on top of a blanket on a hill, observing as one by one hot air balloons were being sent into the sky. We sat there and watched how one by one was slowly but surely rising. And before we knew it the sky was filled with them, each with their own charm. Later on that day I got to thinking about relationships and about our own baggage that at times weighs us down and does not allow us to soar into t...

She sat a table away at a distance that allowed her to hear it all. In the dim light he never even noticed she was there. After all it wasn’t her he was concentrating on but instead on the person in front of him. He sat immersed in conversation with her. She watched as he took her hand in his. Looked deep into her eyes and was lost to her. And at an arms length away she heard him say that he was still in love with her. And that’s when it happened. She could feel her heart breaking to pieces. She could feel the blood rushing out of her body. Her chest tightening up and her breath coming out slowly. She wanted to learn the truth and from a table away the harsh reality splashed her in the face. There he was, the man she loved most, telling someone else something she never dared imagine. They say that truth hurts. That hearing it is a release of honesty but a sharp incision in the heart. The truth can free you of the anxiety but it can bind you to feeling the consequences of its re...

Once in a lifetime we meet someone who changes the taste of love for us forever… They said goodbye the same way they met. He asked her out to dance and she agreed. And in between the music and the beat of their heart their souls were intertwined. Within the laughter and the deep looks she locked her hands forever into his. They spent the next couple of weeks getting to know each other and going on multiple dates. Every minute and every second was spent building something so beautiful and so rare. Her soul was weary and her doubts were many. But he insisted. And as he took her hand in his. She just said “Please, please just don’t break my heart?” He smiled. Held her close and with a kiss they sealed a promise that they both believed.  Life though had different plans for them. Months after they started dating she became ill. Almost lost her life multiple times.  She spent the next year in the hospital in complete and utter desperation. There was only so much med...