Life As I Know It

I think Barbara Streisand said it best. “Memories may be beautiful and yet what’s too painful to remember we simply choose to forget. So it’s the laughter we will remember, whenever we remember… the way we were” I’m sure that’s the way I’d like my autobiography to be written like. Or anyone else’s. Just the good times. The scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind . But if it were so, then wouldn’t big chunks of our plots be missing, making it impossible to just understand why anyone could ever be just happy? In truth, how can you recognize happiness if you’ve never cringed with sorrow? My life comes in volumes. Some I’d sell to Hollywood, some awfully wretched, but nevertheless never, ever, uneventful. My friend and I have this discussion often. I say that everything happens for a reason. She says “Some things should just never happen, they should be completely avoided.” And sure, I’m a sap for a happy ending. But what is an ending without the tale? Last weekend, whi...

It was mid day Sunday when we went over to visit a friend at a Geriatrics center. We sat most of the time discussing what to do about this Friends health. And explaining to his son, who had come down to visit from up north, the critical issue of this friend’s relocation. See he’s in his mid 80’s now and often forgets taking his medication. He now needs care 24hrs a day. But all our good intentions are now short of the care that his family can give him. As my father discussed this with his son, I sat next to this dear old man and the love of his life. She’d lean in to talk to him since he’s hard at hearing. And he’d look at her intently with the sweetest sadness in his eyes. There was warmth in the way they spoke to each other. And their love radiated in the way they’d smile at one another. The decision to uproot him from his home was a hard one. And we all knew it. He’d live next door to the love of his life for 25 years. They never married and to anyone else it seemed lik...

“Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories” (An Affair to Remember)   It was the first day of winter today. The first day in November a chill filled the air. So cold you bypass the shadows and head straight for the sunlight paths. But it was there among the cold I walked alone. I was running errands and getting swept away by the Monday Blues. I made it to my car finally and got in as quickly as possible. I burred loudly as an alert flashed the screen on my phone. I looked down and realized my calendar was alerting me of birthdays and such. I scrolled down and I saw his name. I found it strange that I still held this information after so many years. Even more surprised when I realized it was in some way comforting. And in that car alone, on the first day of winter, with a chill in the air… I felt warmth. I was only 15 when I met him. I was Cinderella at the ball when I met him, and he was the prince who found my lost slipper. I remember it well. I was...

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“… I just did it. I moved away. I bought a one way ticket and I moved to Hawaii!!!” – he said through the line. Farther and farther as the words trailed off. I was far northern, still in the same country but an ocean and a couple states away. “You’re quite brave. Everyone romanticizes with the idea of moving away, but you actually did it. I’m quite happy for you”. I said reassuringly. I admired his sense of valiancy. To be able to let go of the weight and the burden of the past, to take action and do something about his future. To move on. But it hadn’t come easy. You see he’d been through a lot. Times that tested his faith, his strength, his maturity, his wisdom, all of him. A little bruised, and a little humbled, at a crossroad he chose to move ahead. A past that had anchored him for years had maybe made him lose his sense of direction a bit. But he knew it now, and that’s what mattered.   A long conversation later, with many motivational words exchanged I promise...

                I fought with the napkin dispenser as I waited for my order to be ready. He must have seen me struggling and came up behind me. He pushed the napkin holder and with a swift of his hand he took out a stack of them.                 “Here” he said. With my back still to him I felt my heart sink. I recognized that voice. It took only one word. But I knew it well. And when I turned around and the scent of his cologne caught my nose I was embraced by the past.                 “Hey you”. I acted surprised, he didn’t know how good I’d gotten at lying.                 “Hey Miriam, how have you been?” he said.           ...