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Cant Fix You


It was a clear autumn day. Outside the birds were chirping and the breeze was blowing, and the sun was shining brightly. She looked out of the window into the horizon unsure of how they’d gotten here. She sighed, as a melancholy tear rolled down her cheek.
She looked at him. His eyes were wide, and bleak, and tortured. And though he was flailing his limbs, yelling at the top of his lungs at her, she could only hear the beating drum of her heart as it became more and more anxious and self aware.
He parked the car abruptly making her jolt out of her seat, hitting her head on the dashboard. And everything inside her screamed for help. But she knew better, so she composed herself.

He couldn’t understand why she didn’t see things his way. It angered him beyond control. She could always push that button in him. He spewed venom with every word, like tiny jagged swords they carved their way into her being, as she wished the earth would swallow her whole. As much as she loved him, she would never be enough. She’d do something or say something to anger him and they would always end up here.
He gripped her forearm and she flinched. And in rage he clenched his fist and struck her. Her head tossed back from the brunt of the force. She gathered herself and held on to her stinging face. And for the first time it was then she understood she would never be able to fill the void inside his heart. She tried. Oh, how she tried. She invested 8 years into a relationship that only took and took till it left her unequivocally dry. But the truth was there was no band-aid or stitch big enough to cover that which ailed him. Instead of helping him mend the loose ends of his life and fulfill his anguish, she seemed to fall right through it.
His demons were many and the burden she had to carry was heavy. He never helped shoulder the weight. It was always her responsibility to make things right for him. For a long time she thought if she held on long enough she’d help chase away his pain. She thought she could soothe away his ache. She thought that staying one more day would make the difference. But his love was like walking through a mine field; it was unavoidable that any slight movement would cause an explosion.
Their relationship was volatile to say the least, and she stayed as long as she did because she feared him. He coerced her to believe she would never be strong enough to do without him. So in between the fights and the bruises, in between the screaming matches and the throwing of objects… she lost herself somewhere in his darkness. Consumed her life in the bitterness and sorrow she thought she well deserved.
She hadn’t always been this woman. She used to be radiant, confident, and proud. But he stripped from her every inch of good in her soul and left her drowning in dismay. See it’s hard to find strength when you’ve been beaten. It’s hard to find the words when you’ve been quieted. It’s hard to keep the faith when you’ve been broken.  And it’s so easy to lose yourself among the wreckage. So she believed he loved her in his own way. But his way was unrelenting. His kind of love was like walking barefoot on shard, broken glass. The jagged edges cutting into the core of her being.  She was bruised and scarred, and haggard. All things are bearable in small doses, but when it’s constant. It’s jarring.
They drove home in silence. Her left cheek still throbbed from the pain, as her body shook from head to toe. She breathed slowly, trying to compose herself, trying to muster up whatever little courage she had left inside her rackety bones. It would have been easy to fall apart, to let the tumultuous down pour of tears that welled up inside her overflow. He expected that. Instead she went inside quietly and didn’t say a word. He went directly to shower and she walked straight to the back closet where they kept their suitcases. She packed quietly and quickly. She grabbed some cash she kept hidden in a shoe box. And next to the bed on the coffee table she left her golden wedding band and a note that read: “I don’t know what it was that made me love you so unconditionally, or what it was that made you hate me the way you do. But today I finally realized one undeniable truth… I can’t fix you. It’s not my responsibility. You’ve gotta face these demons on your own. And I gotta get far away from here. This is not just a battle lost darling, this is the whole war and we have nothing left to weather…”
She got into her car and put the car on drive. She wasn’t sure of where she was going. She wasn’t even sure of what she’d do when she’d get there. She just knew she had to take her life back that day. So she turned that car into the highway, and put the beams on high, it was a dark road ahead … but she’d always find the light.
Pablo Neruda once wrote “Someday, somewhere, anywhere, unfailingly, you’ll find yourself and that, and only that can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life”.  This was her moment. Realizing your worth is a dire part of human existence. Realizing that you have to make your well being a priority is indicative of how much you value that worth.
They say that there is no safe way to remain in a relationship with a person who has no conscience. The only solution is to escape. Coming to this realization is the hardest thing yet. But at some point there will be an unwavering comprehension that you are allowed to walk away from toxic relationships and people who only hurt you. You are allowed to be selfish and unforgiving. Don’t let anyone bury you so far beneath the earth before you realize you are running out of air. At any point you have the power to say “this is not how my story will end”.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Deep.

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