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Route 66 to Ex-ville




Here is one of the many requests I have still to write about:


We’ll remain friends. That’s the promise many of us make after a break up occurs. But only a few people really learn how to get there.

I saw him at the party
Did he say hi?
Yes
And then he proceeded to ignore me the rest of the night
Well at least you got a hello

When a relationship ends its hard to imagine yourself with out that person. Especially if you’ve been a half of someone for a very long time. So maybe that’s why we use that phrase. Friends. We’d rather settle for some type of human contact with that person, at that moment, than completely ripping them out of our lives.

Now I’m not saying this always happens but in my experience … you don’t come close to remaining friends. Maybe acquaintances who acknowledge each other from time to time.

"I just can’t. I know what I said, that we’d still be friends, but I can’t see her and be in the same room with her. It still hurts"

I once left an ex in the middle of the dance floor because the thought of him holding me caused me to panic. I’m not proud to admit that, but it comes to show just how hard it is to try and pretend that things are normal between the two of you. See, you’ll find book after book on how to be the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend but no one ever writes the manual on how to be someone’s ex. Maybe it can’t be written; maybe we just have to wing it like we do falling in love.

But nonetheless, it is very strange to many how love can come and go. How for months or maybe even years you can’t part from one another and after a moment of dissolution you become a complete stranger to the person that once mattered the most.

There’s no way of avoiding the awkwardness that comes with post break ups. Like the first time you see them at a public event after the break up. The body tenses up, the quick glimpses, pretending not to notice the person who seems to be bigger than the whole room, and the all of a sudden self-consciousness that makes you’re every move a crucial decision. And my ultimate favorite – the chills that run through your body when they say your name and that look of desperation in their eyes as they awkwardly shake your hand.

Being an ex to someone you still care very much about is even more difficult when you have mutual friends. Because no matter how much you try escaping uncomfortable situations… somehow they are always there. Still we smile. None of us are honest. We’d rather fake a smile, laugh excessively, and pretend to be having the time of your life than actually admit that we feel some type of discomfort. After all we have dignity and pride or at least we’d like to believe it so.
If you’ve managed to remain friends with your ex’s maybe you should write a manual. Because it has to be said that there are those who do it flawlessly or at least it seems to be that way. They remain friends. Maybe it took time to get there or maybe there weren’t loose ends to tie anymore. I have friends whose best friends are their ex’s and seem to have great friendships.

But to most EX-VILLE is complicated. Sometimes stressful. But it all coexists with the past just as much as it does with the present. EX-VILLE after all is only a town away from Tomorrow-land.

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